Got to make this post fast today. I have to visit the neurologist this time and I'm without a vehicle so that only gives me a couple of hours to get house cleaned, Griffen dressed, myself ready, and the mountain of paperwork to get done, not to mention we need Colbey's birth certificate for baseball and I have no idea where it could be!! We've been living with our stuff in storage for nearly two years and by now I've almost replaced everything with stuff from the Goodwill or just figured out that I never really needed it in the first place.
Its funny because I have a lot of friends and family that blog and rarely have the time to actually sit down and read them, I usually end up doing it all at once, while I'm multi-tasking watching a movie or something. I try to read the ones from those who take the time to read and comment on mind, because I don't know about you but the comments really help they always either encourage me or give me something really good to think about. Not even a year ago I would have looked at my blog (if it weren't mine) and probably would have heard me say something like "that girl has way too much time on her hands!" Well I know most of you who are reading this know me well enough to know that is not the case for me at all, but what this specific blog does is let me "vent", and hold myself "accountable" for my daily bible study. I know some times it sounds as if I'm trying to teach you, and if you learn something that's great, but really this blog is for me, and if you choose to come along on my journey then you are going to "get" where I'm coming from, if you "pop in" here in there, then you may get thoroughly confused. Get it? LOL
So yesterday I got back from a girls night away. It was much needed, although I had hopes (as always) of getting some work done, maybe reading a book, watching a movie, sitting in the hot-tub (as if I was going to be gone for a week rather than a day and a half). We did have a wonderful time going to a comedy show, I can't remember the exact verse but somewhere in the bible it says "laughter doeth good like a medicine" (or close to that) and some times you don't realize how sick you are until someone gives you "the medicine". That's where I was at. You see, the day I left I had some family struggles.
Now, this could easily turn into 4 blog posts and I said how I needed to keep it short (yep that's coming from me...lol). Something I always heard from my mom growing up was "treat others the way you want to be treated". As good as a phrase as this is, as a child and some times even an adult it can leave you left with a feeling of "what if?" or "Really?" So I'm supposed to let them walk all over me, bully me, beat me up, call me names, etc. and my response should be "nice"????? Now I know from experience that this question forms in the mind of adults and children alike when they are confronted with these types of situations. I think the hardest thing in the world is to be treated poorly by someone, and then turn around and show them kindness and love! In some instances this is easier than others such as most parents (and we as adults can remember as children) will hear the words "I hate you" once in our life from our children, yet we don't turn around and lash back at them, we don't return it with an "I hate you too", we usually ignore it, ask them to excuse themselves, maybe even say something like "I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm still your parent", etc. Other times in life we are blatantly taken advantage of by co-workers, acquaintances, even loved ones, and the last thing we want to do or is even on our mind to do is to quietly excuse ourselves, or reply with an "I'm sorry you feel that way, how can I make you feel better?" At lease if your reading this and you do, please let me know your secrets!! I will admit right now I have "inner Allie McBeal moments" those children/teens of the 90's will remember this show where Calista Flockhart plays Allie McBeal and has moments in her head where she for example: bites someones head off (literally) or throws them out a window, etc. then it will snap back to "reality" and she handles the situation in some politically correct way, since biting someones head off or throwing them out the window may not only be physically impossible, it isn't realistic, and even if it were we'd find ourselves with life in prison (not really what our motive was at the time).
So who out there can relate with the "Allie McBeal moments"? Would the world be a better place if we could act on our anger in such ways? Would we quickly eliminate all the people who "annoy" us or "hurt our feelings"?
I think we both know the answer to that is NO. Unfortunately, we are all human and God made us all unique, not one of us is alike.....which gives for lots of room to be "annoyed" by someone who is not like you! (everyone)
I led into this because I was confronted with one of these situations before I left on my short little trip and I handled it wrong. I mentioned above that my mom always said "treat others the way you want to be treated". She left it at that. I as a mom, often find myself saying to both children and adults: "the bible doesn't say treat others the way they treat you, it says treat others the way you want to be treated. Thank Goodness!!!" What a scary place the world would be if there were never people strong enough to stop the cycle of "Ally McBeal" moments, and act as the bible tells us too.
As I said I was confronted with a situation, and I failed miserably. It was three days ago and I'm still beating myself up because I handled it wrong! My emotions went from being angry at the people who put me in the situation, and then transferred to myself for failing this test miserably! You know hindsight is always 20/20!
I guess the reason its so important to me is because I do want to be a "model christian" I want to be a good servant to Christ and I even hope to be a "teacher" some day. In the bible it says "teachers" will be held at even higher standards, yet I can't seem to pass a simple test. Why is that? I haven't figured it out yet. I guess I fall into the same pattern every human being does; when someone is trying to hurt you, you take cover, then shoot back. That's how I handled it, and I'm embarrassed i failed in that way. Actions speak louder than words and you should always "practice what you preach"........in this case I was not a model christian I wasn't even close, I was a downright ugly christian.
The other thing is that I've been in this situation reversed before. You'd think I'd know how to respond? It should come easy to me I know what the other person needs to hear, so why can't I give it to them? Why does it feel at times like you are always giving and being nice, and it is never reciprocated? Why do people say words like "always" and "every" when they are mad, knowing that this simply cannot be true.
Have I confused you yet? I guess what I had to do today was talk the situation out, for me (sorry not for you). I had to make sense of my actions rather that keep feeling bad about them. I also had to let the bitterness go towards the people who put me in that situation.
So that is all I have time for today, Griffen just cracked his head hard on the wall! But I guess if I leave you with something today it will be these things:
1.) Treat others how you want to be treated, not how they treat you, its up to God to handle the rest.
2.) Actions Speak louder than words......what actions are you doing each day to show who you REALLY are?
Have a great day everybody!!!
In my opinion, it depends on how close you are to the person not treating you very nicely. Relative strangers are fairly easy to be nice to because you can rationalize thier behavior "I don't know what is going on in thier life" etc. Plus, they are in and out in such a short time, they don't impact your life a whole lot, so again its easy to suck it up and put on your nice face for a little bit. It gets more difficult the closer you are to the person. A parent, spouse, or best friend can really hurt you when they treat you poorly. Chances are, you have bared your soul to these people and when they don't treat you the way you wish they would, it can really be hurtful. In those situations, hurt often manifests itself as anger or "how could you" feelings....those in turn can cause you to want to lash out "cover and return fire". In the past I have had lots and lots of those moments. I still do from time to time but they are pretty rare these days. When they do occur, I hold my tongue and walk away for a minute or two... by that time my head clears enough to remember that it isn't personal. There are many factors that can influence a person to say or do things that they do and if they are snappy, short, rude, or kind of nasty, chances are it really has nothing to do with me, so I don't take it personally however I do stop to think if maybe something I said or did unintentionally made them upset. If it did, I take care of it then and there. If it is really bad, I will talk to that person later on and ask them what was going on that caused the behavior....mainly so I can understand and maybe even help them not have to get to that point again....but more often than not, I just let it go and move on. I think the only time this probably wouldn't work well is if the other person was being deliberate in thier intent to hurt my feelings. There have been people in my life like that before and when no resolution is forthcoming, I pretty much eliminate them from my life....I have found that sometimes you just can't fix things because other people are not in the right place in life to do so and may never be. We are all human, thus imperfect, so we take things wrong, get defensive, or react badly to an already tense situation. It happens. Having people in your life who understand and forgive is very important, just as we must be understanding and forgiving. Grudge holding is a waste of energy and really just perpetuates anger. All in all, I think my way of dealing with people who are nasty, rude, or simply inconsiderate is to evaluate and accept my responsibility in the situation and let all the rest go.
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